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Talking With Your Kids About Sexuality
*** This Guide is No Longer Being Actively Maintained ***
by Roz NaPier,
Youth Services Coordinator
Sexuality is one of the most difficult topics for parents to discuss with their children. It is important for parents to provide accurate, age-appropriate information while presenting their values in open, ongoing communication with their children. This pathfinder will lead you to resources in the Onondaga County Public Library and on the Internet to help you raise sexually healthy and responsible children and teens.
Please Choose from the Following:
Books for Parents
Books for Ages 11 and up
Books for Ages 9-11
Books for Ages 4-8
Dewey Decimal Numbers
Websites for Parents
Websites for Youth
Magazine Articles
Books for Parents
Talking to Your Kids about Sex: from Toddlers to Preteens: A Go Parents! Guide
by Lauri Berkenkamp and Steven C. Atkins
The authors give practical advice laced with humor to help parents talk about sexuality with their children through age twelve.
Beyond the Big Talk: Every Parent’s Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Teens — from Middle School to High School and Beyond
by Debra W. Haffner
A noted sexuality educator reminds parents to express their values while presenting information to their teenagers in ongoing communication.
From Diapers to Dating: A Parent’s Guide to Raising Sexually Healthy Children
by Debra W. Haffner
In this parent-friendly book, the author discusses how to impart age-appropriate information to children up to age twelve.
Everything You Never Wanted Your Kids to Know about Sex, But Were Afraid They’d Ask: The Secrets to Surviving Your Child’s Sexual Development from Birth to the Teens
by Justin Richardson and Mark A. Schuster
A pediatrician and a psychiatrist present frank, witty advice along with information about the sexual developmental stages of children and teens.
Ten Talks Parents Must Have with Their Children about Sex and Character
by Pepper Schwartz and Dominic Cappello
This guide prepares parents to carry out talks with their children by presenting current research, popular viewpoints, a plan for the talk, and read-aloud stories to further discussion.
Sexuality: Your Sons and Daughters with Intellectual Disabilities
by Karin Melberg Schwier and Dave Hingsburger
Several parents of children with intellectual disabilities share their stories in this comprehensive guide to raising self-assured, independent individuals.
Books for Ages 11 and up
Sex, Puberty and All That Stuff: A Guide to Growing Up
by Jacqui Bailey; illustrated by Jan McCafferty
Body changes, teen problems, dating, and much more are covered in this guide for teenagers.
Changing Bodies, Changing Lives: A Book for Teens on Sex and Relationships
by Ruth Bell
Quotations and art by teens enliven this comprehensive book on teenage sexuality and the many physical and emotional changes that occur during adolescence.
What’s Going on Down There? Answers to Questions Boys Find Hard to Ask
by Karen Gravelle, illustrations by Robert Leighton
The author describes the physical and emotional changes that occur in boys during puberty and discusses sexual activity, homosexuality, AIDS, and related topics.
It’s Perfectly Normal: A Book about Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex & Sexual Health
by Robie H. Harris, illustrated by Michael Emberley
Text and illustrations combine to provide accurate, unbiased answers to a wide range of questions on topics from conception and puberty to birth control and AIDS.
Safe Sex 101: An Overview for Teens
by Margaret O. Hyde and Elizabeth H. Forsyth, M.D.
The authors present information to help teens make smart decisions about sexual activity.
The Guy Book: An Owner’s Manual for Teens:
Safety, Maintenance, and Operating Instructions for Teens
by Mavis Jukes
Designed like a car manual, this entertaining book offers information and advice to boys on how to care for their changing bodies and how to behave in relationships.
It’s a Girl Thing: How to Stay Healthy, Safe, and In Charge
by Mavis Jukes, illustrations by Debbie Tilley
The author uses a personal tone in this candid guide as she discusses the physical changes associated with puberty along with emotional issues that teenaged girls face.
The What’s Happening to My Body?
Book for Boys: The New Growing-up Guide for Parents and Sons
3rd edition, by Lynda Madaras
With a reassuring, straightforward approach, the author presents practical information about puberty for boys.
The What’s Happening to My Body?
Book for Girls: A Growing-up Guide for Parents and Daughters,
"
3rd edition, by Lynda Madaras
With a reassuring, straightforward approach, the author presents practical information about puberty for girls.
Birth Control and Protection: Options for Teens
by Judith Peacock
This readable book explains reasons for using birth control to prevent pregnancy and disease, describes available choices, and discusses options for making a decision and getting help.
Body Talk: A Girl’s Guide to What’s Happening to Your Body
by Victoria F. Shaw
A conversational tone is used to impart information about physical changes in girls during puberty.
Books for Ages 9-11
The Period Book: Everything You Don’t Want to Ask (But Need to Know)
by Karen Gravelle and Jennifer Gravelle, illustrated by Debbie Palen
A woman and her 15-year-old niece present practical information about menstruation to alleviate girls’ worries.
It’s So Amazing! A Book about Eggs, Sperm, Birth, Babies, and Families
by Robie H. Harris, illustrated by Michael Emberley
Bird and bee cartoon characters help present straightforward explanations of topics related to sexual development, love, reproduction, sexually transmitted diseases, and more.
Growing Up: It’s a Girl Thing: Straight Talk about First Bras, First Periods, and Your Changing Body
by Mavis Jukes
The author reassuringly tells pre-adolescent girls what to expect during puberty and covers such topics as personal hygiene and menstruation.
Ready, Set, Grow!: A What’s Happening to My Body? Book for Younger Girls
by Lynda Madaras, illustrations by Linda Davick
Real girls’ questions and comments are interspersed with detailed, illustrated information on puberty.
Boy’s Guide to Becoming a Teen
by Kate Gruenwald Pfeifer
Girl’s Guide to Becoming a Teen
by Kate Gruenwald Pfeifer
The American Medical Association offers advice on preparing for the emotional and physical changes expected during puberty.
The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls
by Valorie Lee Schaefer, illustrated by Norm Bendell
This guide from the American Girl Library covers basic health and hygiene—from braces to bras, pimples to periods, hair care to healthy eating.
Books for Ages 4-8
What’s the Big Secret? Talking about Sex with Girls and Boys
by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown
This simple introduction to sex and related topics has humorous cartoon-style illustrations with dialogue balloons that help present the information.
My Mom’s Having a Baby!
by Dori Hillestad Butler, illustrated by Carol Thompson
A soon-to-be big sister shares with the reader all she learns during her mom’s pregnancy. Though the facts are presented in direct language, both text and pictures convey the love and joy felt by the family.
How You Were Born
by Joanna Cole, photographs by Margaret Miller
Clear text and superb photographs explain how a baby is conceived, how it grows inside the mother's womb, and how it is born.
When You Were Inside Mommy
by Joanna Cole, illustrated by Maxie Chambliss
A mother and father tell their young son the fascinating story of his gestation and birth. Advice for parents on talking to their children about this subject is included.
It’s NOT the Stork! A Book about Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families, and Friends
by Robie H. Harris; illustrated by Michael Emberley
Detailed answers are provided for questions young children pose about bodies and sexuality.
Everybody Has a Bellybutton: Your Life Before You Were Born
by Laurence Pringle, illustrated by Clare Wood
Soft illustrations accompany sensitive text describing prenatal life.
Amazing You! Getting Smart about Your Private Parts
by Dr. Gail Saltz, illustrated by Lynne Cravath
Parents can use this book with their young children to begin the discussion about such topics as the differences between boys and girls. The author includes a note to parents for additional guidance.
Baby on the Way
by William Sears, M.D., illustrated by Renée Andriani
This book provides sensitive advice for young children living with a pregnant mother and includes guidance for parents on discussing the subject with their children.
Dewey Decimal Numbers
To find additional books on these topics, browse the shelves in the adult, young adult, and children’s sections of the library under the following Dewey Decimal numbers:
305.235 (Adolescence)
306.7 (Love and relationships)
612.6 (Human body)
613.9 (Health)
618.2 (Pregnancy and childbirth)
649.65 (Parenting)
Websites for Parents
The following web sites have information to help parents talk with their children and teens about sexuality.
Advocates for Youth
With separate sections for parents and adolescents, this site provides a wealth of information, including a summary of development by ages, articles by experts, and tips on how to discuss matters related to sexuality.
4Parents.gov
This U.S. government site provides parents with information, tools and skills so they can help their teens make healthy choices.
KidsHealth for Parents
Questions and answers about sexuality are presented along with related articles in both English and Spanish. Other health topics receive similar treatment.
National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy
Aimed at reducing the teen pregnancy rate, this site includes information for parents, teens, and community organizers in both English and Spanish.
Talking with Kids about Tough Issues
This site shows how to talk about sexuality, HIV and AIDS, violence, and drugs and alcohol with your children and teens. An initiative of Children Now and the Kaiser Family Foundation, the site can be accessed in both English and Spanish.
Websites for Youth
The following web sites provide information for teens, but some have sections specifically for parents.
GirlsHealth.gov
This U.S. government site gives girls (ages 10-16) reliable information on health issues. It includes sections for parents and educators.
Go Ask Alice!
Questions submitted to Columbia University’s Health Services are answered in detail by health professionals. You can search a topic in the archived questions or post a new inquiry to the site.
It's Your (Sex) Life Guide
MTV's guide for teens covers many issues including birth control, sexually transmitted diseases, and communication between sexual partners.
iwannaknow.org
The American Social Health Association provides answers to questions about teen sexual health and sexually transmitted diseases. Though aimed at teens, a parent’s guide is included.
Sex, Etc.
This web site by and for teens includes editorial articles as well as expert answers to questions posed by teens.
TeenGrowth.com
This site covers many health topics in addition to sexuality.
TeensHealth
Clear, well-organized articles on a wide range of health-related topics including food & fitness, drugs & alcohol, and sexual health are presented in both English and Spanish.
Magazine Articles
The following magazine articles cover various aspects of talking with children and teens about sexuality.
“Talking to Teenagers about…Sex. What Else? Hello? A New Program for Parents”
by Vanessa Juarez.
Newsweek, November 21, 2005.
A statewide program in Michigan called Talk Early & Talk Often (TETO) aims to give parents the tools they need to talk with their kids about sexuality.
“The Sex Talk: When Should You Have It with Your Child?”
Jet, August 2, 2004.
Several experts offer tips for conversing with children of various ages about sexuality.
“Talking to Kids about Sex:
A Reality-Tested Guide to Finessing the Trickiest Questions and Situations.”
by Julie Tilsner.
Parenting, November 1, 2002.
Age-appropriate answers to several questions that young children may pose are provided.
“Hey, Parents: This Won’t Hurt a Bit. (Talking about Sex with Teenagers)”
by Marc Silver.
U.S. News & World Report, May 27, 2002.
Kids listen to parents who discuss sexuality and relationships with them, and their behavior often reflects their parents’ expectations and values.
“Are You Prepared for Puberty? How to Talk to Your Child about the Pressures Ahead.”
by Sue Woodman.
Family Life, June 1, 2001.
This article suggests ways to counteract the influence of peers and the media regarding sexuality, drinking, and smoking.
“How to Talk to Kids about Sex.”
by Pat Wingert.
Newsweek, June 14, 1999.
Debra Haffner, author of From Diapers to Dating, answers some common questions parents ask about talking to their children about sexuality.
“Sex and Relationships: Talking to Developmentally Delayed Teens.”
by Pamela Murphy.
The Exceptional Parent, July 1997.
A pediatrician who specializes in adolescent health care of children with special needs offers guidance for helping developmentally delayed teens learn socially appropriate sexual behavior.
Last updated: June 26, 2010